Hearing the Silent Witnesses of Domestic Violence

The witnesses and victims’ silence was deafening, however the message was loud and clear; 95 percent of Domestic Violence victims are women, the U.S. Department of Justice reports. Between 2003 and 2011, 250 domestic violence related homicides were identified in Massachusetts; one out of three teenage girls in dating relationships face domestic violence, reports the Jane Doe, Inc.

For the year 2010, the Foxborough Police Department had a total of 326 documented calls for domestic violence, serving restraining orders and violations of restraining orders.  These overwhelming statistics were brought to light Saturday by the Foxborough Chapter of H.U.G.S (Help Us Get Safe) event at the Ahern School. 

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Help Us Get Safe (H.U.G.S.) Foxboro celebrated its 10th anniversary and fifth annual fundraiser at the Ahern Middle School Track with a walk to support domestic violence awareness, prevention and education in Foxborough. The event culminated with raffles and educational materials for sponsors, walkers and volunteers to partake in. Raffles included a signed Patriot’s football, a Red Sox poster autographed by players, and a hand-made quilt completed by a volunteer from the Foxboro site of Brigham and Women’s Hospital.

 Chairperson, Ruth Karacek, Vicki Lowe, Co-Chair of H.U.G.S. and Director of Foxboro Council on Aging and Human Services, Police Chief Edward O’Leary and Foxboro High School SADD members, Hallie Young, Emma Prinos, Sam Carlson, Molly Madigan, Meghan Foley, Alana Prinos, Kaileigh Reiss, Joseph Civitarese and Grace Chiang and Francine Perry, Director of Community Services for New Hope, all collaborated in the very successful event. 

According to Karacek, the goal of the event was twofold; To increase participation in the event and to increase awareness of H.U.G.S., "especially among the younger population."  H.U.G.S. is an all volunteer program that augments services for domestic violence victims and works tirelessly to increase local awareness of domestic violence through education.  

During the walk, there were different educational projects set up around the track. One project on display at this year's walk was a program sponsored by New Hope called "The Clothes Line Project." It was an exhibition of t-shirts hand-painted by children, friends and family affected by domestic violence that shows the fear, sadness, anger and loss that results in emotional trauma.

Another compelling project, known as "The Silent Witness Exhibit," was showcased.  This project began back in 1990 by a group of women artists and writers in Minnesota who wanted to make an impact and speak out against the escalating violence against women in their state being murdered by their partners or acquaintances. They decided to create 26 one-dimensional free-standing, life-sized red wooden figures, each one bearing the name of a woman who once lived, worked, had neighbors, friends, family, or children--whose life ended violently at the hands of a husband, ex-husband, partner, or acquaintance. A 27th figure was added to represent those uncounted women whose murders went unsolved or were erroneously ruled accidental. The organizers called the figures the Silent Witnesses. The Silent Witness Exhibit was displayed on the outdoor track of the Ahearn School Foxboro on Saturday and now exists in all 50 states as well as twenty other countries.

The history of The Silent Witness National Initiative coincides with the formation of H.U.G.S. which began in Massachusetts in the late 1990s. The first H.U.G.S. chapter was created by a police officer in East Bridgewater in 1996. In 1998, the towns of Bridgewater and Easton began their own chapter of H.U.G.S., with Foxboro following suit in 2001.  H.U.G.S. Foxboro chair Ruth Karacek works closely with Police Chief Edward O'Leary, who also serves on the H.U.G.S.Board, and has begun working with Foxborough Public Schools, particularly the Ahern Middle School and Foxborough High School. 

When asked what new approaches H.U.G.S were sponsoring to raise public awareness of domestic violence, Karacek cited the Anti-Bullying Task Force started last year in the Foxboro Public Schools and a program called Rachel’s Challenge also started last year to empower students to create a permanent, positive culture change in their school. On Oct. 25 at Foxboro High School, H.U.G.S. will sponsor a play called "The Lesson" for the 9th graders on dating violence and Cyber Bullying as part of a program known as “Deanna’s Fund.”  Deanna Brisbois was a creative, athletic and energetic 23-year-old woman from Topsfield, MA. She lived life to the fullest with the ability to makes friends in an instant with her engaging personality and ever-present sense of humor.  In April of 1994, she lost her life in a car-crash near Brockton, MA. Deana had been in an abusive relationship for two years before her death. Her abuser was with her in the car when it crashed-but fled the scene-waiting over nine hours before he sought emergency treatment and claiming he fled the wreck in a panic. After Deana's death, her abuser was subsequently jailed for two years on unrelated assault and battery charges (32 charges from five Massachusetts counties).

Though Deana's abuser was never charged with her death, her mother and stepfather, Mary Ellen and Ira Gorfinkle and friends believe he played a role. A series of incidents-now a matter of public record-provide solid evidence of a pattern of abuse. Deana had taken out an emergency restraining order against him in 1993 after being hit. Peabody police charged the abuser with trying to run a car off the road in which Deana and another man were passengers. She sought emergency care after being thrown out of his moving car. Mary Ellen never witnessed the abuse, but was horrified when she saw the bruises he left on Deana's body-like the cruel bite mark left on her cheek, and the results of a "haircut" when he whacked off chunks of Deana's hair with a knife. When Deana finally admitted to the abuse, her family and friends urged her to get help. Deana talked with counselors, clergy, countless friends, doctors, lawyers, family members, and even other abused women. She left him several times, only to return when he apologized-certain that he would change.

Faced with the hard truth-that relationship violence knows no boundaries, Deanna’s family and friends organized an annual golf tournament to raise money for their cause. They founded Deana's Fund and donated the money raised to women's shelters. The golf tournament became an annual event, and in 1995 the organization supported the development of a play to prevent dating violence. The play was called The Yellow Dress.

Vicki Lowe, Co-Chair of HUGS explained that domestic violence reaches across all lines, including the elderly.  Foxboro Human Services, according to Ruth Karaceck, has one of the longest running support groups in the area for anyone needing services.  Last month, H.U.G.S. co-sponsored a stay-safe program for senior citizens with founder of Personal Best Karate Master Christopher Rappold.  Both Chair, Ruth Karacek and Vice-Chair Vicki Lowe of the Council on Aging and Human Services, reiterated that H.U.G.S. is about educating the community while empowering individuals and families affected by domestic violence.

If you or someone you know is being affected by domestic violence please contact 1.800.799.7233 for help.

If you would like to make a donation to this very worthy cause, please mail your check to: H.U.G.S. Foxboro, P.O. Box 466, Foxboro, MA 02035.