A Real Hometown Red Sox Club

What if the Boston Red Sox were a real hometown team with only players from the six New England states?

You know, no outsiders allowed. Sorry Ted, Yaz, Rico, Nomar, Pedro and Schill. You're great, but you weren't born here and we've got our real local nine.

Instead of hailing from Texas, Florida or California, our Sox grew up on Dunkin' Donuts, clam chowder, lobster, Boston baked beans and whoopee pies.

Our guys know you have go south to go north on Route 95. They would know how to get around rotaries without blinking.

Our Sox drive like locals, because they would be locals.

They know the difference between Plum and Block Islands.

B’s, C’s, Pats, those are our other teams. Candlepin Bowling is our sport.

Of course, our general manager is the late Lou Gorman of Stonehill College fame with Dan Duquette and Theo Epstein waiting in the wings. The manager, well of course, it would be "Walpole" Joe Morgan, because this team would need a little of his magic.

Let’s go to PA announcer Carl Bean for the starting players.

“Starting at first base, Rico Brogna.” He wasn’t much of a player for the real Sox, but the Connecticut native did have some big years in Philly with three 20-plus homer seasons.

“At second base, Jerry Remy.” Before he became well-known on NESN and in the restaurant, Remy was a pretty good second baseman with very speed. Morgan would use him at the top of the order to get things started.

“Gary DiSarcina at shortstop.”  He’s more known as an Angel, but he did work for the Red Sox, so he's in. Actually, he was on the 2000 team, but never played.

“At third base, Dick McAuliffe.” The Connecticut native played most of his career with the Tigers before finishing up with the Sox. He’d give the team a capable bat at the end of the order.

“In the outfield…” Left field isn’t strength on the team, unlike it’s been with the outsider Red Sox over the years, so we’d go with a platoon of Joe Lahoud, who had 14 homers before being traded to the Brewers, and Billy Conigliaro. Jim Piersall would give this team a strong defender in center field, while a good part of offense is going to come from right field with Tony Conigliaro patrolling out there. Tony C. went from playing at St. Mary’s in Lynn, where his basketball coach was former Sharon Recreation Director Dave Clifton, to playing for the Sox at 19. Nobody knows for sure what he would have done for his career if he hadn’t been hit in the head with a pitch, but he was just starting a promising career with a 106 homers from 1964 to 1967.

“Catching, Carlton Fisk.” This is the strength of the team with Hall of Famer behind the plate and former all-star Rich Gedman waiting in the wings.

“Designated hitter, Mo Vaughn.” We’d keep him out of the field and hopefully lengthen his careers, which fell apart when he moved away from Easton to California. Vaughn, Tony C. and Fisk would be a strong middle of the order.

“Starting on the mound, John Tudor.” The Peabody native found fame and fortune after he left the Sox for the Pirates and Cardinals, but he did come up through the Sox’s system. Knuckleballer Wilbur Wood became a star with the White Sox, but the Belmont native wore red first. Bill Monboquette would give the team a solid right hander, while Rich Gale, Allen Ripley and Norwood’s Skip Lockwood would be looking for starts.

In the bullpen, Jeff Reardon gives us a solid closer, while Morgan will be trying to get outs from the likes of Jim Corsi, Mike Remlinger, Manny Delcarmen, King Philip’s Jeff Plympton, Dan Wheeler and Ken Ryan.

Our bench guy, of course, would be Framingham’s own Lou Merloni.

One of my favorite Sox of all-time, Canton's Olaf Henriksen, would have been a back-up outfielder, but he was born in Denmark, so he's out.

Well, see you at the ballpark, of course, after a Dunkin' Donuts run. Save me a chowdah. I'll meet you next to the Monstah.